Adoption is wonderful way to create a family. As an adoptive parent, you have the opportunity to offer your child a second chance. Remembering a few things along the way will help make this experience even better.
You are the Parent
You’re not the stepparent or the guardian. You are now your child’s parent. An adoptive parent is just as legally responsible for their children as any birth mother. Your bond is just as strong and just as wonderful as any parent. Always remember that you are going to be the foundation of their memories and the people they will turn to as they grow up.
Respect Your Child’s History
If you are adopting an older child with a longer history, do all you can to help them remember that time in their lives. If this time was less than ideal, it’s still a part of your child’s life. Help them integrate it into their lives today. A scrapbook can be a useful place to store memories and important documents they might need later such as their original birth certificate. If you are adopting a younger child, help them remember where they started out in life with the right pictures and explanations of your adoption options.
Decide on a Birth Parent’s Relationship
Some adoptive parents choose a closed adoption where they do not keep in touch with a child’s birth parent. In that case, you can still provide them with reminders of a birth mother. If you have chosen an open adoption, this means keeping in touch with the child’s birth mother. Navigating this relationship can be harder. Bear in mind that your relationship may change as the child grow older.
Join a Support Group
Reach out to other adoptive parents as much as possible. Other parents can help provide you with valuable answers to some of the more difficult questions you have. Look for groups that include opportunities to meet in person. Children love being able to speak with peers who have also been adopted.
Be Kind to Yourself
Becoming a parent is a life-changing decision. Keep in mind that you will make parenting mistakes along the way. Allow yourself some forgiveness even when don’t always get it perfectly right. You and your child are figuring out your life together. You and your new child will make it work and will find a great relationship as parent and child.
