Considering adoption? One of the first choices you must make when considering adoption is whether you would prefer an open adoption or a closed one. In an open adoption, the birth parents and the adoptive parents have some contact with one another. In a closed adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents do not get to know one another, and the records are sealed.
There Are a Spectrum of Options Available
Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all arrangement, and you have the right to specify exactly what you want your open or closed adoption to look like. Some adoptions are fully open, and the birth parents and adoptive parents maintain regular contact throughout the child’s life. Others are semi-open, and the parties exchange a few letters or phone calls each year. In some closed adoptions, the parents meet once or twice before birth. Sometimes, however, they never meet, and they learn no personal information.
You Should Be Comfortable with Your Choice
Adoption is a lifelong arrangement, so it’s important for you to be happy with the way you approach it. You should never feel pressured into making a decision one way or the other. Hopefully, you will have support for your choice from your family, your friends and your adoption agency. Of course, you can’t control what your family and friends think, but you do have the right to select an agency that agrees with your approach to adoption.
People May Change Their Minds
Before going through with the adoption, both parties should clearly specify their wishes and come to an agreement about how much contact they will have. Hopefully, this will guide the relationship for many years to come, but there’s always a chance that things could change. Particularly in open adoptions, one party may eventually pull back.
Both Options Are Valid
Both open and closed adoptions have the potential to produce happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids. Whether you prefer an open adoption or a closed one, you probably have good reasons for feeling that way. Whichever you choose, rest assured that you are doing what you feel is best for you and your child.
Choosing between open and closed adoptions is a personal decision. As you weigh the pros and cons of each, you may want to consult an adoption organization. An agency or an attorney that specializes in adoption can provide insight as you decide which type of adoption is right for you.
