When to Break the Hard Truth About Santa
Guest post by Lauren D.
Many parents worry about when they should tell their children that Santa Claus isn’t a real person. Often, the inevitable confession is fought because the parents are afraid their child will be heartbroken, devastated, or see them as liars.How can you teach your child that lying is wrong, and then tell them about that hard truth?
There is a good way and a good time to do this most unpleasant task, and a lot of it has to do with proper timing.
Children and Fantasy
For most children, the idea of Santa and everything that goes with it- from the North Pole to his elves and reindeer- is a fantastic fantasy. It is a world that they can believe in, something to look forward to and hope for, a happy place. As children age, their minds become less imaginative, less open to the supernatural and impossible.
As they age emotionally and mentally, the idea of Santa Claus becomes less of a concrete fact, and more of a speculation. This is a natural process, and a good indicator of when your child is ready to hear the truth.
Telling your child before they are ready can cause more problems than most parents want to deal with during the holidays. When a child still thoroughly believes in the existence of Santa Claus, learning that he isn’t real at all can be devastating. Their whole imagination can crumble in a very abrupt manner. They may have trouble getting back into the spirit of the season, or believing in other things.
Children place a lot of value into their fantasies, and adults tend to forget how important these imaginings can be to a young child. If at all possible, don’t take Santa from a child who isn’t ready to hear it just yet.
Related Issues
The good news for parents whose children found out about Santa before their time, is that children are resilient. While that one Christmas may have been marred, they generally bounce back in time to enjoy the holidays the next year. One issue that should be discussed, however, is that they should not tell other children who may not know yet.
Sometimes, if a child is very angry upon learning this truth, they may just go out of their way to tell everyone they come across! The best advice if your child learns about it too early is to simply smooth it over the best way you can, but in complete honesty.
On the other end of the spectrum are children whose parents may wait entirely too long to tell them. They run the risk of being told by another child, or overhearing an adult in conversation. If there is a good way to handle the confession of Santa you can bet it needs to be the parents who do the talking. Try to avoid letting your child find out from someone else if you can.
When is the Right Time?
You’ll know your child is ready when they don’t seem to be as excited about Santa as normal, perhaps they are asking more in depth questions than normal, or seem skeptical. Rather than making up elaborate stories to allay their fears, this may be your first clue that it is time. Again, you want to try to do it in between their absolute faith in Santa, and their realization that he does not exist.
If you are still unsure or nervous about the big Santa talk, work on ways to break it to your child that would work well with their personalities. Consider accompanying the truth with a story about the real St. Nicholas, and explain that we continue the Santa tradition in honor of him.
This can help your child better understand that it’s not a bold faced lie, it’s a carrying on of tradition. Hopefully, this will allow them the freedom to still enjoy the tradition and to be able to happily carry it on for younger children who still believe.
However or whenever your child learns about Santa, just remember that even if they are horribly upset they won’t be forever. It’s hard to be miserable during the holiday season, even if Santa just got exposed. For some parents it can be especially difficult to see that era of childhood disappear. While it is always sad to watch a tradition dissolve, be thankful for the years you had and be grateful that your child is growing.
About the author:
Lauren D. is a freelance writer who loves helping families find cheap car insurance. When she’s not working, she can be found offering free weight loss tips to anyone who is dedicated to losing weight.
