A Parent’s Guide to Helping Kids Understand Addiction

We always do our best to shield our children from harm, but there can come a time when it lands on your doorstep. Rather than being able to hide it from them, you must develop a solution to explain it, reassure them that they’re safe, and answer some very tough questions.  This is especially true regarding addiction that has affected your family in some way. Whether it’s a grandparent with a drinking problem, a father with a gambling addiction, or something else, it’s often better to talk about it than hide it. In this helpful guide, you’ll find information on how to begin helping kids understand addiction. 

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Have a Simple and Honest Conversation

As you’re exploring some actions to take to help family struggling with addiction, your children will likely be noticing that something’s wrong. Even if no one says anything, they may feel a shift in energy and notice that you’re not your usual self.

Knowing that it’s easy for a child to make up scenarios that have the potential to be far worse than reality, it’s important to have a simple, honest conversation where you focus on facts and stay calm.

For younger children, you might say something along the lines of, ‘Someone in our family has a problem with alcohol. It’s called addiction and means that their brain has a hard time stopping, even when it causes problems.’ For older children, you may go into more detail about what addiction is and how it affects a person’s brain regarding the choices they make. 

Provide Reassurances

When your child is close to a family member experiencing addiction, it’s easy for them to believe they played a role in their loved one’s troubles. It’s important to make it clear that they’re not to blame. 

Reassure them that addiction is not caused by anything they did, and that children can’t fix addiction. Most importantly, tell them that only adults and professionals are responsible for dealing with it. 

Name and Normalize Feelings 

After explaining what addiction is and how it has affected a much-loved family member, your child will likely have many feelings. Let them know that all feelings are allowed, and that they can choose to talk about them or not. 

If you believe it will be helpful, go into further detail about feelings and even use tools like plush toys to help them express them in a safe space. If your child isn’t ready to talk, tell them that you’re here to chat about what they’ve learned at any time. 

Explain What to Expect

Some things may change in your child’s life, but many things won’t. To understand addiction, children tend to feel safer when they understand what to expect. For example, if their everyday routine of school, dinner, and bedtime remains the same, let them know that’s the case. 

If there will be significant upheaval, such as a family member leaving the home, reaffirm the many things that will remain the same rather than focusing solely on what will change. It can also be important to let them know that the person with the addiction is getting help. 

To understand addiction can be scary for anyone, but even more so for children close to the source who don’t have a complete sense of what’s happening. Do your best to support them by providing a simple explanation, being a listening ear, helping them identify their feelings, and reaffirming how much of their life will stay the same.