Giving birth can have an effect not just on your body but on your mind. Your sense of identity comes from choices you make about your career, relationships, and lifestyle. Choices symbolize who you are and your values.
These choices can change when you give birth. Suddenly, you are responsible for someone else whose needs come first – and this can alter your sense of identity. So, learn how you can regain your identity while still treating your newborn as the most important person in your life.
What follows after giving birth?
Even after an uncomplicated birth, you may feel anxious, low, irritable, or wanting to cry for no apparent reason. These feelings can be due to changes in hormone levels, breastfeeding, lack of sleep, and fatigue. They usually go away in the first few weeks after giving birth.
So, feeling emotional after having a baby is fine, but postpartum depression is not. As soon as you realize you are not thinking clearly, ask for help. Do not wait until it is an emergency.
But even parents who don’t feel depressed can experience a loss of identity. They can feel they have lost their value as a working professional along with their financial independence, social life, hobby time, time for themselves, family, friends and partners, confidence, and sex appeal.
This can lead to feelings of sadness, loss, or guilt.
Ways to feel yourself again after giving birth
Do an inventory of your new life. Yes, you may no longer be as spontaneous, socially active, or as carefree, but you can be more patient, understanding, and selfless. You can discover new reserves of confidence and self-belief as you assume the responsibility of looking after your child.
You don’t always have to be doing something baby-related. Hopefully, you will have a support network so you can take breaks from baby duties. And do compare yourself to other parents. Not in a negative way, but compare notes with friends and family about their experiences with a new child. Chances are, they will have had downsides that they can talk about that will help you to adapt.
Accept help from your partner, family, and friends and then rediscover yourself while someone else cares for your baby.
But as well as talk, you need action. Get out in your free time and exercise, even if it is just a walk to the store or to see a friend. Join an exercise class either online or at home. Concentrate on areas of your body most affected by your pregnancy. Build core muscles that take a lot of strain during pregnancy. Bladder leakage can also be an issue after giving birth. So, try Kegel exercises to help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles so you regain bladder control more quickly.
Once your child is old enough to be looked after for a period by your family, taking a trip abroad could help you regain your sense of self and independence. You could combine exercise and travel on bicycle tours to Europe, Africa or Asia. Biking tours offer a profound connection with new surroundings, allowing you to immerse yourself in a destination. Mentally, this is great news.
It will get better.
You can be yourself again after giving birth. You will be different from the person you were, but you will still be you. Just give yourself a break – literally and figuratively –get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods (omega-3 fatty acids found in fish are mood boosters), exercise, and spend time with people your own age.
