You may have heard of the approach of positive parenting. It’s a technique that more parents are using today on their children. Instead of the traditional methods that our parents used to discipline us when we were growing up, positive parenting focuses on encouragement, love and support. Additionally, it can have numerous benefits and make the life of parenting easier.
Here’s why I practice positive parenting myself.
What Is Positive Parenting?
Positive parenting is a method that focuses on positive parenting principles — disciplining children in positive ways. This technique involves disciplining children by teaching them the proper behavior to use in the future rather than punishing them for past behavior.
Many modern parents embrace gentle parenting because they prefer it over the way their parents raised them. And it can have significant benefits on a growing child. Psychologists say that positive parenting instills confidence and gives them the resources to make better choices.
Why Do We Need Positive Parenting?
Positive parenting can affect your child’s mind and development in many ways — from social and emotional to behavioral aspects. Here are the various reasons parents use these parenting techniques today.
1. Builds Stronger Parent and Child Relationships
Positive parenting can make a world of difference for both the child and the parent. For parents, this technique can make them more sensitive, responsive and consistent through their interactions with their children. Children are more optimistic and become motivated to act out behaviors that their parents prefer.
Positive parenting creates stronger emotional bonds when parents help their children learn to manage their behaviors and feelings. As a result, children become more confident and handle challenges involving parental stress, family instability and depression.
There is another less frequently discussed situation where positive parenting can truly change the deal, and it’s when you are going through a divorce. As Freed Marcroft’s divorce team explains, an ideal parenting solution is to maintain shared custody of your children. While, of course, there are situations where this isn’t advisable, when both parents are equally responsible, co-parenting through organized custody can be a game-changer.
However, some parents are afraid of losing their special connection with the child in a shared custody setup. Where does positive parenting come into play? Essentially, this will reduce the risk of an unbalanced relationship between one parent and the child and the other parent. When you practice positive parenting, you can already build a unique bond with your child before the divorce. Shared custody will maintain that bond, and there is no fear of losing what you already had.
2. Promotes Mental Well-Being
Parents who raise children in a positive manner can set their kids on the path to achieving higher self-esteem and optimism. In turn, this helps kids become more resilient and believe they can achieve what other kids can do.
Additionally, they bounce back more quickly from hiccups. When kids are more resilient, they have less conflict with family and better connection with their parents. Overall, positive parenting promotes mental health wellness — leaving them less likely to grow up with anxiety and depression.
3. Establishes Flow of Communication
Communication is inevitable when taking this parenting approach. The main principle of this technique is to encourage positive conversations with children instead of turning them into negative one.
You can encourage your kids to have an open discussion about their thoughts and feelings while guiding them on good behavior choices. In turn, this spreads positive feelings and effective communication. However, it only works when you make it a two-way process. So, consider sharing your experiences as well as listening when they speak.
Ways to Implement Positive Parenting
Positive parenting doesn’t involve being nice to your kids when they don’t deserve it. It’s a strategic method that focuses on low demands and high response. Here are the best ways you can practice.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries in the relationship with your children are key to successful, positive parenting. It allows you to remain calm and patient because you feel certain respect when meeting your needs.
The best approach to establishing boundaries is when you feel impatient, overwhelmed and angry from recurring behavior. For instance, if you dread dinnertime because your child won’t sit when they eat — establish a rule that everyone sits down at the table for meals.
Be Firm While Being Loving
Positive parenting is all about the tone you set. You can be firm and hold your expectations high while being a loving parent.
In your family’s household, decide which rules are the most important to you. Then, enforce those rules by being consistent and communicating them to your children clearly. Being a positive parent doesn’t mean letting your child brush off your rules. It just means you try to remain calm, be stern and use a loving tone when they need a reminder.
Avoid Shaming
Shaming your child can have negative consequences, making them feel bad about themselves and ruining their self-esteem. It’s also ineffective as it reinforces your child to identify with that behavior.
So, instead of saying they act like a baby or they’re being a bully, comment on your child’s behavior. Let them know when they’re being inappropriate without instilling shame on them.
Use Positive Reinforcement
Did your child clean up their toys by themselves? Did they help their younger sibling with their homework? If so, let them know you noticed by praising them for their good behavior.
Sometimes it’s easy to comment on only bad behavior. However, it’s more effective when your child gets increased attention on their good behavior. All it takes is one quick positive comment to show that they’ve done a good job.
As a result, your child will maintain a positive attitude and self-identify with those good behaviors.
Practicing Positive Parenting
Positive parenting requires a different mindset and approach to parenting behaviors. So, whenever you get the chance, use it as a learning opportunity to practice. When you instill patience and persistence, you can turn disciplinary moments into valuable lessons for your children.