Death is always a tenuous subject. When a friend or family member loses someone close, it’s normal to be at a loss of how to respond. Accepting the death in a grounded, practical way can help someone make sense of their loss.
Don’t Force It
People approach grief in very distinct ways, often experiencing a barrage of emotions, cycling from sadness to anger. While reaching out may seem like the appropriate thing to do, some people also just want to be left alone in isolation. Crying and other obvious signs of depression may not be noticeable. Never make assumptions, allow the individual to grieve and react the way that is best for them, and if they want to be distant, respect that.
Legal Troubles
The last thing any grieving person wants to do is worry about finances and legal problems, but unfortunately, such realities are often par for the course. For instance, if your family member has lost someone in a car accident, dealing with the aftermath can be particular stressful, especially if the case is ruled as a homicide. Therefore, helping your loved one find a suitable lawyer can take away some of the burden. Professionals, like those at Speers Reuland & Cibulskis, P.C. know that losing a family member is difficult at any time. A good lawyer can determine if acquiring a monetary award in court is possible, which can certainly go a long way towards getting a grieving family back on its feet.
Be Grounded in Reality
Universal platitudes are likely not the most appropriate response to someone who’s just lost their world. Instead of saying “he’s in a better place now,” or “things will be better,” you should just acknowledge that the situation is dreadful and that your family member may never be the same. The point should instead lie in the fact that you will always be there for them and that their love can never diminish.
Be Available Directly
In order to facilitate help, it’s a good idea to offer your assistance in practical ways. Instead of offering vague reassurances to be available, try offering specific ways to help, such as by preparing dinner on a certain night, or offering to help clean. When people are foisted into a depression, it’s amazing how much small things can help them re-calibrate.
Intense feelings of regret and frustration are normal when dealing with grief, so ultimately the best way someone can support a grieving friend or family member is to assure them that their feelings are warranted and they aren’t at fault. It’s impossible to assuage the effects of death, but by allowing yourself to be a lighthouse, it’s possible to facilitate some sense of comfort.
