Browse the shelves of a parenting section in any bookshop and you’ll see a huge range of books from “experts” dispensing advice on everything from naming your baby to setting up your nursery. When you are expecting a baby for the first time it can be bewildering to know who to turn to for advice, and who to ignore.
Confidence
Being solely responsible for a new baby is a terrifying prospect, especially if you have not had much experience of being around small children in the past. This responsibility can cause a huge amount of stress in a parent and can be very reassuring to have a book to refer to when you are in doubt about how often to feed them, how long they should be sleeping or when to start on solid foods. As any parent will soon realise though, babies are not all built to the same specification, and what works for one may not work for another.
Routine and Feeding
For mothers who are choosing to formula feed their babies, a routine can work well. However, if you are choosing to breastfeed, trying to force your baby into a strict pattern of feeding can be a disaster. Mothers produce milk on a supply and demand basis, so the more often your baby feeds, the better your supply will be. The best way to ensure that you breastfeed your baby for as long as you want to is to throw out the routine books and just respond to your baby’s cues. Most breastfeeding mothers find that their babies naturally fall into their own loose routine at between three and four months old.
Tiny Tummies
What parenting experts do not appear to take into consideration when advocating stretching them for four hours or more between feeds is that babies have very small stomachs. A newborn baby has a stomach the size of a marble, and even by a few weeks old their stomach is only the size of a ping pong ball. This tiny capacity means that they simply cannot take in enough calories to make them last until the book says it is time for them to be fed again.
Sleeping
Sleep deprivation is one of the worst things bout being a new parent and after a few sleepless nights it’s tempting to consider even the weird and wacky ideas to help you get some sleep. Having had three children of my own, the one thing I can state for certain is that every baby is different and some sleep well, others don’t. My first baby regularly cried for what seemed like hours every night, my second was sleeping 8 hours at a stretch after about a week. Many nursery supplies companies will try to sell you expensive items to aid in your child’s sleep, but although some of the expensive nursery supplies will work for some children, the one item which is really indispensable is a good blackout blind. Sleep deprivation doesn’t last for ever and it is far less stressful for parents and for the baby if you just allow them to find their own pattern.
Morag Peers is a keen writer and busy mosther of three who lives in Scotland
