Guest Post By Sanjay Nambiar
The three main characters in my book, The Super Duper Princess Heroes, are regular girls who transform into princesses with super powers. Recently I was asked how they would handle bullying.
It was a provocative question. The Super Duper Princess Heroes are out trying to save princes and the world. But as regular girls, I realized they were susceptible to bullying like everyone else.
So how would they handle it? I think each of the girls would have their own specific approach, but in general they would stay true to their principles—be strong, confident, and compassionate.
The first thing the Super Duper Princess Heroes would do in a bullying situation is ignore the bully. Bullies thrive on attention, and if you starve them of that spotlight, they don’t get the one thing they want the most.
If the bullying continued, the super princesses would tell an adult (like a teacher, principal, or parent) about the situation. Adults can intervene and protect the victims of bullying, especially if the behavior is a pattern or has a history.
One thing the super princesses would never do, however, is physically engage with a bully. Sure, that would be easy—Sammie is super strong, Oceana can fly, and Kinney is as fast as lightning. But getting into a physical altercation with a bully would be against everything the Super Duper Princess Heroes stand for. Instead, the girls would use their words. They would assertively tell the bully to stop the behavior, using words like, “Stop doing that to me! I don’t like that and you’re hurting me.” If a bully said one of the girls was “stupid” or that they didn’t like the girl, the super princess would respond in kind with “Well, I know I’m smart,” or “I like myself.” The super princess would never say something rude or mean to a bully, because that’s exactly the kind of fuel a bully needs to keep going.
Lastly, despite how hurtful a bully can be, the Super Duper Princess Heroes would have compassion toward that bully. You never know what’s going on in the bully’s life—tough home situations, low self-esteem, abusive relationships, a recent death in the family, and other things that can wreak havoc on a child’s psyche. Many bullies are going through challenging life phases and use aggression toward others to make themselves feel better. The behavior is never excusable or justified—and it must be dealt with and stopped—but having compassion toward that individual and showing kindness where possible extends our greater humanity.
Bullying hurts everyone, from the victims to the families involved and even the bully. The more we talk about these situations and handle them with strength and kindness, however, the more we move toward a culture where this type of behavior is not tolerated and occurs less frequently.
*Sanjay Nambiar is an award-winning author. His books include “Maybe (A Little Zen for Little Ones)”, “Still There? (A Little Zen for Little Ones)”, “Remember the Stars (A Little Zen for Little Ones)”, and “The Super Duper Princess Heroes: How It All Started”. You can learn more about his work at www.alittlezen.com and www.superduperprincessheroes.com.
