This is a very special guest post by Janice C.
There are so many signs, so many symptoms, that are hard to see, until it is too late. Where do you go for help if you have suicidal tendencies? Do you know someone that has suicidal tendencies? Where can you go if you are a survivor of someone else’s death by suicide? Where can you go to find out more information?
Death By Suicide:
Heather’s death by suicide came as a complete surprise. When the police came to the apartment, they said we had to go to the hospital. One of the first thoughts I had was she had a car accident and that she was going to be ok. They said no, it was a gun shot wound. I thought someone had murdered her. They replied that it was self-inflicted. There are a lot more details in the book I wrote of the first 6 months. You can find that by clicking here and getting it for free, where you read it on a page. It’s very painful for me to read. I lived it and I feel pain all over again. Yes, I still feel pain and most of my blog posts cause me to cry. I try to be as open and honest with you as I can. You can also get the book on kindle on Amazon by clicking here. (It’s 99 cents there, but I couldn’t figure out a way to give it away free there while I kept it free on my blog.
There is always hope!
If you are in crisis, in the USA, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Text START to the Crisis Text Line Free 24/7 a day to 741-741 HelpStopThePain.com
#SomeoneIsAlwaysListening #StopSuicide #SuicideAwareness
At least once a week, more often on a Monday, I post the above information on social media. I use various social media, but I think it’s good to know that people really are there to help. The people are trained and most volunteer their time to help others to overcome their suicidal tendencies. Many volunteers do so because suicide has impacted their life. Many have walked the path, either of having suicidal tendencies or knows what it feels like to be a survivor of death by suicide.
Cleaning up Loose ends:
The reason I try to post more often on Mondays is that I heard that more people choose Mondays to end their life. They’ve usually made their decision, they are tying up some lose ends. Cleaning things up. Trying to make as many good memories as possible. (I’m sorry, I can’t tell you exactly where – my mind wasn’t really too connected at that point in my life.) Heather was a pack rat. She had things everywhere, but mostly in her car or in her bedroom. She had “cleaned her room” that week. Nothing big, just some small things that I didn’t even notice gone. But, in the bins and under the beds, she left it neat. Just a few books that she had, her laptop that didn’t work (a good friend got the information off the laptop for us since then.) She left a ton of nail polish (none of us really wear it too often). I think I am going to have to do my nails one day this week with her polish in her memory. Anyway, it took us a while to get her car from where she had parked it. All of us were expecting to find a goldmine of all things Heather in her car. It was just about empty. She left her birth certificate, social security card, driver’s license and her debit card. All neat and tidy.
They tell you that you can tell if someone tends to be excessively tired. Well, yes, Heather was tired quite often, but Heather worked full-time in a group home for mentally disabled adults on the overnight. She was also taking a couple of classes at the community college. You see, Heather wanted to go to school to be an EMT. She also had fun! Besides all this, I know personally that she helped a few friends get off of drugs, into treatment and stay off of them. I also know that she talked a few other friends out of suicide. She could see that their life had value. To them, they were worth it. But, I guess she didn’t think that she was worth saving. Every day of my life I know that her life was worth it. Now, why didn’t I see that she was tired quite often and know that was a symptom and I needed to do something? My advice to her was to try and get a good sleep today. Try not to run around all day helping other people.
You see, that’s another sign that I hear people talk about after losing someone. They were always helping others, they were always smiling, laughing, being a good person. So does that mean that everyone that shows those signs has suicidal thoughts? Not at all, but yes, some of them do. While Heather was always helping others if they opened up to her. Why didn’t she tell us? We would have done anything for her. We know from a note that she left that she was afraid that people would think that she was just trying to get attention.
So yes, the signs are there and there are so many places I could send you to. I think the first one I will send you too is Heather’s Memorial Page for American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. That’s a page that my oldest daughter started for Heather for people to donate there instead of sending flowers. They do a lot of good and their pages offer you a wealth of information, including information on how to talk about suicide with others.
Please Talk about Suicide!
More and more sites are talking about suicide. That’s a good thing! We all need to talk about it. Communication is the key. You won’t know if your child, your spouse, your friend or anyone else in your life is hurting right now so you need to talk to everyone. You don’t want to be a survivor of death by suicide, you want to make sure that everyone knows. Share the information on social media. Have a conversation with others. Have you ever thought about it? Confide in some friends, they may even share some of the same feelings and together, you can help each other.
The rates may have changed (have you seen all the news about suicide being on the rise?), but they were back when we lost Heather in 2015 was 1 in 4 after effected by suicide. With the percentages that high and rising, chances are if you were in a room with 3 other people, 1 of them might be thinking of suicide. The more we talk about, the better the chance of being able to Help Stop The Pain. If you want additional information, I compiled a page that just has various links that can help you on your quest for information. You can find it all by clicking here.